Service Pictures

Since we had Emily in January and got that call in March that we need to handle services we didn't tell a lot of people about it. We didn't want a full blown funeral but we decided to just dedicate the grave and then have a few people over to the house for lunch. My parents flew in my Gma's sister DeAnna was already here a couple of friends and some of Blaine's family. That was about it and I think that was enough.

Our friend Paula worked at Meldrum's Mortuary so when everything happened Blaine called her and she handled everything. By the next morning she let us know that they had gotten to the hospital to pick her up and that she was here in Mesa. We had gone and picked out her little casket as well has her headstone. After we finished with Paula we went to the cemetery to pick out her plot. They had a couple different infant sections and right away Blaine and I both picked the newer part because it was on sprinklers instead of irrigation. Not that it matters but to us at the time it did. Linda does a lot for Newborns in need. Newborns did give me a bereavement package but Linda wasn't happy with what they gave me. I picked out a dress and fabric and Linda made it. I knew that my baby wouldn't be without a bow so I made one. We asked Paula about seeing her and everyone there said no. Because of the time laps from the time she was born to the time we  buried her it would of not been a good thing for us to see her. I gave Paula the things that we made for her and she took care of it.

I am so glad that my friend Jen was there to help with Ryan. I didn't have to worry about him because she walked around with him. It took a huge amount of stress off of me. My parents that flew in are also in this picture. There is no way I could of handled this day without my dad being there. He has always been my rock. He knew what I was feeling that day since he to has buried a child.

My parents, my Gpa, DeAnna, Gma and my Grant parents

I didn't get pictures this day I am pretty sure my brother in law took these but at least I have something from that day.

Blaine and Paula talking before everything started.

Blaine dedicated the grave and did such a great job and we both for the most part held it together so I was proud of us for that.

My Grant family got the pink flowers for the top of the casket. Just like I did for my brother I had to have red roses so Blaine and I got the red rose basket as well.

Ryan didn't have a clue about anything going on. He thought that all the little toys and things on other kids graves where all pretty cool.

After we all headed back to the house and had some lunch

Ryan decided he wanted to take a picture so this is I think the only picture of Blaine and I that day. Well i guess Cris is here to.

Once again thank you to everyone who came to support us that day. Even 3 years later it is still hard to think back on the situation. We couldn't have gone through this without our friends and family.

Ultrasound pics ect

Since I have decided to make this blog I decided I need to find all the pictures that I have. I am not including the pictures that the hospital gave me. I have seen them however my husband has not. I never saw her that day. I saw her feet and then I passed out so I didn't see the pictures the hospital gave me till a week later. If I wouldn't have been fighting for my own life I am sure a lot of things would have been different about that day but I am grateful for the things that I do have. The hospital did give me her footprints and I have them hanging in my room along with my other kids. I have a book that I put together for her with some of the ultrasound pictures and things in a book for Emily. Today I decided to scan all of the things that I am wanting to keep.

I had an ultrasound done at 16 weeks because they where worried about Emily having downs. We didn't find out till she was born that she did not have it.

I love the cute little baby toes pictures

Alien baby face pictures are great as well. The funny thing is in the pictures that the hospital gave me showed that she had cleft in her chin just like Blaine does.

It's A Girl

This is the one thing that I totally love that I got from the hospital. She is sticking with my other kids and has big feet. All the doctors and nurses where so surprised at how big she was for being born at 25 weeks and 5 days. So if she would of kept cooking they said she would of been around 9ish pounds. Sounds about right for my big kids.

Happy Birthday My Angel Baby

Today my little Emily would have been 3 years old. This year has been harder than other years I think because I have been under a lot of stress with things, not to mention the fact that I thought we would be having a baby soon if I wouldn't of had that miscarriage last summer. I figured that we would be pregnant again by now. Every time we have gone off birth control I was pregnant with in a month or so. I haven't been on birth control since my miscarriage and still not prego. I try and not let those negative thoughts that something is wrong with me creep in but sometimes they do. Blaine and I are both in the mind set of it will happen when it happens. I keep thinking with the changes that could be coming to our family that maybe it isn't the time to have a baby since I may have to go back to work full time. We went while Nana and Gpa where here to get some cute stuff for Emily's birthday to take out to the cemetery. Ryan picked out some cute metal flowers and windmills, super cute flowers and Nana even got a little angel for it. We went home and put everything together and took it out to the cemetery since my parents had to leave super early today. It is good to know that my little Brother is taking care of her and that I don't have to worry. I am so very greatful for the knowledge of eternal families and that I will be able to see my little one agian.