Will It Ever End

So as most of you we lost Emily January 26th. When we had her Blaine signed a paper turning her over to the hospital and they told us that they would take care of the rest. Well they didn't. I got a phone call on Monday from a social worker at St. Joes she was very very nice. I figured that she was going to do one of those how was your stay surveys. Well it was far from that. I guess the state has been bugging the hospital for the death certificate. So the lady called asking if we had contacted a funeral home yet. I was like no. I told her that we thought they had handled everything. Well that's not the way it works. If you loose you baby after 20 weeks you have to go through a funeral home and they handle the cremation or the burial. So I was like so you still have Emily at the hospital? The answer was yes. I couldn't believe it. It has been almost two months and they are just calling me now.
At the time we had her we thought that when we signed her over to the hospital that they would cremate her. And at the time that was the best thing for us because I was so sick so we needed to get me better so we just thought they had done everything already. So we had to sit down and decided if cremation was what we really wanted. It defiantly would have been the cheaper route. Cremation would have been about $300.00. We have decided to bury Emily at the mesa cemetery. Holy cow it is sooo expensive. I think when it is all said and done it will be around $1500. Talk about having something you thought was taken care of thrown in your face. My family has been saying that all of this could be a blessing in disguise. Now we will know where she is and we can take our family to her grave.
I know that the grave can be comforting sometimes. I know that it was for me with my brother Ryan. Unfortunately we don't get to go their that often because he is in Texas but when I have it is still nice to go.
So we are basically going to be dedicating the grave next Friday with just our family. It will be nice to finally get some closure. I am so grateful for all of our friends and family who are helping us through this difficult emotional time. Thank you to Paula(Prince)Layton who grew up with Blaine in 12th ward. She works and the funeral home that we are using and she is handling everything personally. So it helps a lot to know that she is watching out for us and our daughter. We called her on Monday after we got the call from the hospital and by Tuesday afternoon they had gone to pick her up and bring her to mesa. Thank you so much for you help.
So that is our crazy life at the moment. I would never wish this on my worst enemy it was hard the first time but I really didn't go through all the grieving because I was so sick. This time I have felt it all. Its like we have lost her all over again.
I went to the temple this morning with the YW to do baptisms for the dead. I can't tell you what a great feeling their was there this morning. I did really good not to cry I did tear up a few times while I was sitting there thinking. I know that my little brother Ryan is taking care of my Emily until I can again. It was such a great comfort to feel that.
Thank you all again for all the support you have given to our family during the past three months. I hope you all have a great Easter.